well, as i write this blog, mike is off at an elder's quorum activity. "an activity where the wives weren't invited??!" as my mom asked. nope. not invited. but not too horribly sad about not being invited since it's a video game night ha :) my contributions to the evening consist of encouraging mike to go so he could get to know his quorum better and making chocolate chip cookies for him to take along.
anyhow, the title of this blog is a line from the Owl City song "Vanilla Twilight". i always liked that song and have thought of it at times when mike and i were apart. we both really love Owl City and listen to it together often :) we watched the video for it last night which is really neat and, unexpectedly, touched me. check it out:
i think this video is AWESOME. the idea that i get from the video is totally different from what i get from the song, but i love the creativity of the music video - it seems like we don't see that so often anymore. what i love about the video and what touched me is the way that this phenomenon that is occurring in the sky is something that connects all these random people. they all stop what they are doing (driving, walking, playing, sitting) and pause to watch what is going on...i noticed that even nature paused for a moment because it stops snowing briefly in the video! maybe it's weird, but i get this really cool feeling inside when i think of or see things that make people interconnected. i just love knowing that even though there are so many people and we are all so different, there are still things that make us all the same in some way. everyone feels sad whether they want to admit it or not, and everyone feels happiness too at some point. everyone desires to be loved. and like in the video, everyone who saw something like this going on in the heavens would stop and look up. it makes me think of the second coming and what it will be like at that day when everyone stops what they are doing in response to the Savior returning to the earth. which reminds me, everyone is a son or daughter of God and that is probably the strongest way we are interconnected. it will be awesome when everyone realizes that :)
i love being interconnected with other people. i wish that more people took the time to connect with others - even with people that they don't know that well. i see this all the time at the bank - some people are too busy and impatient to even have a conversation with the person who is depositing their checks or getting their rolls of quarters for them. or they go beyond being short and are rude and hurtful for who knows what reason. we're all the same in so many ways, i know they wouldn't want to be treated like that. all i want to do is make the people that come through my line smile or even just make their day a little better or easier. oh well. i just try to remember of how we're connected whether we're friends or not and move on to the next person who will let me help them to smile :)
well, all this deep thought just to say that i miss my husband. "i'll doze off safe and soundly, but i'll miss your arms around me." i'm excited for you to get home, mike!! :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
the rain came back!!!
I MISSED THE RAIN ALL WINTER AND IT'S FINALLY COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot begin to tell you how exciting it is to have rain again. (and actually, since the rain has returned we've had another heavy snowfall, but i am too excited about the fact that it's getting warm enough to have rain again to be bothered by that fact haha. if it rained once it will rain again soon!) i have always loved the rain, and have so many fond memories of it. i think because my dad loves the rain i've always had positive feelings about it. rain is so calming and peaceful - doesn't matter if a thunderstorm is going on, it still seems peaceful to me :) i love it.
i remember staying up really late one night with megan when we shared a room growing up. a thunderstorm started while we were talking and "trying" to fall asleep and we got really excited and decided we should watch the rain. we both laid with our heads upside down and hanging off our loft beds so we could see out the window we opened and watched the rain and lightning. it was so cool :) i love that memory. i think the storm went on for quite sometime, but it got to a point where we couldn't lay with our heads like that anymore. i'm sure we drifted off to sleep listening the sound of the rain tapping on the metal awning covering our window. that sound is one of my favorites - makes me want to go get a metal awning for our tiny little basement window!
another rain memory from when i was growing up is from a sunday afternoon one summer. we got home from church and begged mom to let us go outside and play in the rain that had been falling all morning. she said we could if when we came back inside we came in the laundry room so we could dry off and change and not get the carpet wet all through the house ;) so my sisters and i all went outside to play in the rain. we splashed in puddles in the driveway, and became fascinated by the river of rainwater that was rushing through the gutter by the curb in our front yard. we waded around in that for a bit and discovered that our flip-flops floated down this mini river if we set them on top. we decided to have flip-flop races and timed our shoes to see which one was the fastest :) i remember having to chase one down the street because the current took it away quicker than we had expected! i remember the missionaries looking at us pretty strangely when they drove up for a Sunday visit and all four of us were dripping with rainwater having a marvelous time splashing around in the gutters hahaha. we were thoroughly soaked by the time we decided to head inside, but we were happy and had made some awesome memories.
this memory is a little more fuzzy, and i admit that it could be not a memory at all, but rather a dream or a piece of someone else's story that i converted to a pseudo-memory :) but i have this thought of a time when my family was together and i woke up in the night and heard my parents' voices outside. the place we were staying had a porch with really nice rocking chairs on it so i went outside to see what they were doing. there was an amazing rainstorm going on and my parents were sitting and talking on the porch while enjoying the rainstorm. i'm sure i joined them and enjoyed it equally as much :) if that's not a real memory, then oh well. i guess i'm getting old. but it makes me smile to think about it so maybe we'll have to do it sometime and make it a real memory :)
i have so many memories from my mission of rainy days (shocking, i know). i loved serving in a rainy place! there were lots of rainy days, but not very many thunderstorms, so i remember one night when we actually were graced with a thunderstorm. i was in a trio at the time and me and one of my companions ran outside to enjoy the rain and lightning and the other begrudgingly joined us since we had left the apartment and she had to also :) i remember just standing in the rain and laughing and talking and singing. then as we were driving home from the airport on the day i returned to VA from my mission, i remember the most incredible thunderstorm and thinking that Heavenly Father was giving me a really great welcome home present :)
when mike and i went out to the west coast for Anny's wedding we enjoyed several rainy days :) the house we were staying in was right on a lake and it looked so beautiful with all the ripples caused by the rain! we were borrowing a friend's jaguar to get around while we were out there and we loved the automatically adjusting windshield wipers that the car had - if it rained harder, the windshield wipers would speed up with no adjusting. if it stopped raining, the wipers stopped. wow. we have since reflected on all the rain we experienced on that trip as well as how nice it would be to have those windshield wipers on our cars!
i know i have plenty of other rain memories, but these are the ones that came to me first. from what i've heard, it's supposed to be a stormy spring here in MN so i'm really excited to make more rain memories this year!! I LOVE RAIN!!!
Monday, March 14, 2011
what's new and exciting
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| i am excited about the new dishes set that mike and i bought the other day at target when we happened upon the gift card we combined all our gift cards onto! we won't pull out the dishes until we get our own place, but it's exciting to have them :) |
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| i am excited that the german pancakes i made the other day puffed up nice and big like it's supposed to! last time it didn't work...maybe because i used vanilla-flavored almond milk instead of regular milk haha |
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| i am excited about my new rolling pin!! also purchased from target with wedding gift cards :) also exciting was the pizza we had...and something weird is that i rolled it out with the rolling pin ha, but it actually worked out nicely! |
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| i am excited that me and mike played stake conference bingo last sunday!! and also that we both won smoothies from it :) |
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| i am excited about the tupperware we bought!! i told mike i wanted to go buy something fun and he asked what i had in mind. he laughed at me when i said tupperware and said "i thought you wanted to buy something fun" haha ;) it is fun! he turned out to be pretty excited about it to though once we got it :) |
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| (close-up of the swirlies on the tupperware!) |
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| i am excited that it's easter time and the peanut butter cup eggs are out! to me, these have the perfect combination of peanut butter and chocolate and are best served frozen :) yum!! |
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| i am still excited about our awesome penguin backpacks from mom and dad at Christmastime haha! i stumbled across this picture and felt i should post it since excitement still filled my heart at the sight of them :) we are excited to take a trip so we can use the penguins to bring some of our stuff! lots of cool and exciting stuff going on in big lake as you can see!!! :) |
Monday, March 7, 2011
life is like a TV series
sometimes people compare life to a movie. like they're the main character and going through this one plot and eventually it all gets resolved and everything is hunky dory. sometimes it takes longer for that conflict to get resolved depending on the person, so maybe in that case they would say it's just like an extremely long movie.
well, i disagree. i think life is like a TV series. i recently went with mike and some of his family to see the movie Unknown at the theater. it was a pretty good movie, but after it was over i was left feeling like something was missing. i thought about it for a few minutes, and i realized that i have been watching so many TV serieses (seri? how do you pluralize "series"???) recently that a movie just didn't have the depth and breadth that i have come to expect from a story. so like i said, the movie was decent, but i felt like there needed to be more to it.
so, to my point, a TV series does go into depth. a TV series has several conflicts throughout - often many at the same time. a TV series may end one episode leaving you in suspense and dying to watch the next to see the resolution, yet you watch the next episode and...what?! a new conflict?? and they didn't first resolve the one that you were hoping to see through?! haha. i used to hate that - i'd be all excited for the next episode only to discover that the focus was on some other side character or someone's history or something else unexpected and i didn't get to see things resolved as i had hoped...so i usually would go on to watch the next episode after that hehe :) but this is so much more like real life. some conflicts remain throughout the whole series - it starts in episode one and goes all the way through the season finale. other conflicts are introduced and resolved within one episode, while in the meantime the hero/ine struggles with the original conflict plus surely a few others that have arisen.
sometimes it's a surprise and a conflict that you had thought to be previously resolved, never to be dealt with again, pops up and becomes the current focus. that's kind of how i feel now in life ha. i already graduated from school and went through the decisions that come with getting a bachelor's degree: where should i go to school? what should i study? what classes do i take? where do i live? i remember thinking about all those things and going through the stress of trying to answer those questions. it was tough at times and i didn't see how everything would finally end up. yet, here i am, past all of those things. it got worked out. i didn't think i'd be needing to ask those questions again in my life, but i find myself asking them again with and for mike. i see him feeling stressed out by not knowing the answers, and i remember how it felt to not know exactly what i was supposed to do. but i also remember that things worked out and i made it to where i am, so i know it will work out with him too :) we'll get it! and i know that just like sydney bristow in ALIAS or jack bauer in 24 or michael schoffield in Prison Break, we'll figure out the answer amidst all the other conflicts/plots that are going on in our lives right now :)
i know that movies are shorter and don't leave as much time for character development and blah blah blah, but still. live is like a TV series...just sayin ;)
well, i disagree. i think life is like a TV series. i recently went with mike and some of his family to see the movie Unknown at the theater. it was a pretty good movie, but after it was over i was left feeling like something was missing. i thought about it for a few minutes, and i realized that i have been watching so many TV serieses (seri? how do you pluralize "series"???) recently that a movie just didn't have the depth and breadth that i have come to expect from a story. so like i said, the movie was decent, but i felt like there needed to be more to it.
so, to my point, a TV series does go into depth. a TV series has several conflicts throughout - often many at the same time. a TV series may end one episode leaving you in suspense and dying to watch the next to see the resolution, yet you watch the next episode and...what?! a new conflict?? and they didn't first resolve the one that you were hoping to see through?! haha. i used to hate that - i'd be all excited for the next episode only to discover that the focus was on some other side character or someone's history or something else unexpected and i didn't get to see things resolved as i had hoped...so i usually would go on to watch the next episode after that hehe :) but this is so much more like real life. some conflicts remain throughout the whole series - it starts in episode one and goes all the way through the season finale. other conflicts are introduced and resolved within one episode, while in the meantime the hero/ine struggles with the original conflict plus surely a few others that have arisen.
sometimes it's a surprise and a conflict that you had thought to be previously resolved, never to be dealt with again, pops up and becomes the current focus. that's kind of how i feel now in life ha. i already graduated from school and went through the decisions that come with getting a bachelor's degree: where should i go to school? what should i study? what classes do i take? where do i live? i remember thinking about all those things and going through the stress of trying to answer those questions. it was tough at times and i didn't see how everything would finally end up. yet, here i am, past all of those things. it got worked out. i didn't think i'd be needing to ask those questions again in my life, but i find myself asking them again with and for mike. i see him feeling stressed out by not knowing the answers, and i remember how it felt to not know exactly what i was supposed to do. but i also remember that things worked out and i made it to where i am, so i know it will work out with him too :) we'll get it! and i know that just like sydney bristow in ALIAS or jack bauer in 24 or michael schoffield in Prison Break, we'll figure out the answer amidst all the other conflicts/plots that are going on in our lives right now :)
i know that movies are shorter and don't leave as much time for character development and blah blah blah, but still. live is like a TV series...just sayin ;)
i wish i could do something more
** pre-script to this post - i do apologize if this seems disjointed at all...it has actually taken me three separate sittings to finish this because of things that have popped up, thus introducing three different mindsets and groupings of random thoughts floating around each time. i think that my original purpose was to express the frustration i sometimes feel when i see people who are struggling and i want to help but don't know how. i also wanted to address how feeling for people and having a heart sometimes does leave you vulnerable and does allow for pain to be felt, but i think it's worth it. that being said, here's how the post actually goes...:) **
these last couple weeks have been so busy!! unfortunately that means less time for blogging. i have thought often of things about which i would like to write, however, and so here is one of them. there are two interactions i've had with different people in the last couple weeks that are semi-related in that the person initially was a stranger to me, yet upon hearing their story, my heart really went out to each of them. sadly both situations were such that i couldn't do much to help them. geez, seems like more often than not that's how it goes!
i met the first lady when i went in for a haircut and she introduced herself as the person who was to be cutting my hair. this hair-cutter and hair-cuttee situation is always pretty funny to me. i mean you try to strike up a conversation with a person that you hardly even look directly at - your head is tilted up towards the ceiling as she stands behind you and washes your hair. then you go back to her station and you talk to her in the mirror because she is again standing behind you. hahaha. oh well, so it is :)
at some point during my haircut i noticed the framed picture of her two kids sitting by the mirror. i had already mentioned that i was a newlywed and so i asked her if she was married. the wording of her response struck me as a bit interesting when she said with a hint of surprise, "well, yes. i actually am married." i asked a few questions about her husband and, while she always did respond to my queries, it seemed like she was just giving the basic answers and not elaborating on anything. finally i asked one question to which she decided to open up, and i found out that her husband had previously been seriously injured at work (he worked in construction) and actually now lives in a group home leaving her to raise their two children all alone. i felt so sad when she told me that! she was probably in her late 20s or maybe early 30s...i can't imagine how difficult that would be. i wasn't really sure what to say to convey that my heart was hurting for her, and truthfully i don't know that she wanted or expected that really. i mean i was a stranger to her and how many strangers really take the time to think about it and care in such a situation instead of just uttering the obligatory "i'm sorry to hear that" in response? i don't mean to take a negative view on this, because i actually do believe that at least some people care, but i wonder if that's how she might've looked at it. she hastily changed the subject and finished my haircut, but afterwards i just really wanted to give her a hug...i didn't, but i wanted to. instead i gave her twice the tip i would normally give and i've thought alot about her and even prayed for her since. i guess praying for someone is doing something. i mean, i don't guess, i KNOW it is, but still. i wish i could do something more hands on for her! maybe go babysit her kids or find a cure for her husband...sigh. anyway, there's story number one.
the second interaction occurred when i was at work - telling people stuff about their money at the bank...or tellering...or whatever the verb would be :) a girl came in with a question on her account - apparently it was overdrawn by several hundred dollars and she was unsure about what was going on. unfortunately, it turned out that her direct deposit advance from the prior month had come due and the bank had debited her account for that money. i showed her on my screen what was going on and i could see that as she began to explain her situation she started to choke up. "i lost my job in january and i don't have any steady income right now. i can't pay that money back right now - i was expecting more time before it was due. on top of that i just found out that i'm going to be a mom...i don't know what to do..." that's when the tears started to fall. man! i wanted there not to be a counter between us at that moment because, again, i just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that we could work something out with her to pay the money back later or in smaller increments or something...unfortunately i do not have the authority to do that. in fact i didn't have the authority to do anything to help that girl from a banking standpoint. all i could think to do was grab her the tissue box and talk to her about her baby that's on the way. a banker came over to us and gave her a number she could call to try to work something out, but he did voice his doubt that anything would be able to be done. boo! not cool.
i know some people would say that having a heart and showing mercy to people puts you in a place to be taken advantage of - i do understand this to a degree at least in the latter case. i mean, if wells fargo was in the habit of making special exceptions for everyone in tough situations then they could really get taken advantage of and lose a great deal of money. i'm just glad that i am not a big corporation because that means that i get to choose to have a heart and to love people and do whatever i can to help them even if it is just saying a prayer! :) maybe that means that i will or have been taken advantage of before, but i just cannot imagine a life without compassion and caring and making an effort to help others. i suppose what i have done is try to learn and gauge how much to get involved in certain circumstances :) it is hard to not be able to help other people sometimes, but it is even harder when you do too much and end up making things difficult for yourself. i suppose it's best sometimes to leave it in the hands of our loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what needs to be done or not done. sometimes we do get to play a larger part, but i've had to learn that i can't change everything and sometimes the only role i should play is that of pray-er.
well this blog wasn't originally intended to be a reflection on a lesson i've learned about life over time, but it kind of turned into that :) all of that aside though, i choose to love people! and i choose to care! and i am very happy with that choice because it means that i am being me :)
these last couple weeks have been so busy!! unfortunately that means less time for blogging. i have thought often of things about which i would like to write, however, and so here is one of them. there are two interactions i've had with different people in the last couple weeks that are semi-related in that the person initially was a stranger to me, yet upon hearing their story, my heart really went out to each of them. sadly both situations were such that i couldn't do much to help them. geez, seems like more often than not that's how it goes!
i met the first lady when i went in for a haircut and she introduced herself as the person who was to be cutting my hair. this hair-cutter and hair-cuttee situation is always pretty funny to me. i mean you try to strike up a conversation with a person that you hardly even look directly at - your head is tilted up towards the ceiling as she stands behind you and washes your hair. then you go back to her station and you talk to her in the mirror because she is again standing behind you. hahaha. oh well, so it is :)
at some point during my haircut i noticed the framed picture of her two kids sitting by the mirror. i had already mentioned that i was a newlywed and so i asked her if she was married. the wording of her response struck me as a bit interesting when she said with a hint of surprise, "well, yes. i actually am married." i asked a few questions about her husband and, while she always did respond to my queries, it seemed like she was just giving the basic answers and not elaborating on anything. finally i asked one question to which she decided to open up, and i found out that her husband had previously been seriously injured at work (he worked in construction) and actually now lives in a group home leaving her to raise their two children all alone. i felt so sad when she told me that! she was probably in her late 20s or maybe early 30s...i can't imagine how difficult that would be. i wasn't really sure what to say to convey that my heart was hurting for her, and truthfully i don't know that she wanted or expected that really. i mean i was a stranger to her and how many strangers really take the time to think about it and care in such a situation instead of just uttering the obligatory "i'm sorry to hear that" in response? i don't mean to take a negative view on this, because i actually do believe that at least some people care, but i wonder if that's how she might've looked at it. she hastily changed the subject and finished my haircut, but afterwards i just really wanted to give her a hug...i didn't, but i wanted to. instead i gave her twice the tip i would normally give and i've thought alot about her and even prayed for her since. i guess praying for someone is doing something. i mean, i don't guess, i KNOW it is, but still. i wish i could do something more hands on for her! maybe go babysit her kids or find a cure for her husband...sigh. anyway, there's story number one.
the second interaction occurred when i was at work - telling people stuff about their money at the bank...or tellering...or whatever the verb would be :) a girl came in with a question on her account - apparently it was overdrawn by several hundred dollars and she was unsure about what was going on. unfortunately, it turned out that her direct deposit advance from the prior month had come due and the bank had debited her account for that money. i showed her on my screen what was going on and i could see that as she began to explain her situation she started to choke up. "i lost my job in january and i don't have any steady income right now. i can't pay that money back right now - i was expecting more time before it was due. on top of that i just found out that i'm going to be a mom...i don't know what to do..." that's when the tears started to fall. man! i wanted there not to be a counter between us at that moment because, again, i just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that we could work something out with her to pay the money back later or in smaller increments or something...unfortunately i do not have the authority to do that. in fact i didn't have the authority to do anything to help that girl from a banking standpoint. all i could think to do was grab her the tissue box and talk to her about her baby that's on the way. a banker came over to us and gave her a number she could call to try to work something out, but he did voice his doubt that anything would be able to be done. boo! not cool.
i know some people would say that having a heart and showing mercy to people puts you in a place to be taken advantage of - i do understand this to a degree at least in the latter case. i mean, if wells fargo was in the habit of making special exceptions for everyone in tough situations then they could really get taken advantage of and lose a great deal of money. i'm just glad that i am not a big corporation because that means that i get to choose to have a heart and to love people and do whatever i can to help them even if it is just saying a prayer! :) maybe that means that i will or have been taken advantage of before, but i just cannot imagine a life without compassion and caring and making an effort to help others. i suppose what i have done is try to learn and gauge how much to get involved in certain circumstances :) it is hard to not be able to help other people sometimes, but it is even harder when you do too much and end up making things difficult for yourself. i suppose it's best sometimes to leave it in the hands of our loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what needs to be done or not done. sometimes we do get to play a larger part, but i've had to learn that i can't change everything and sometimes the only role i should play is that of pray-er.
well this blog wasn't originally intended to be a reflection on a lesson i've learned about life over time, but it kind of turned into that :) all of that aside though, i choose to love people! and i choose to care! and i am very happy with that choice because it means that i am being me :)
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